Three years pased. It still appears as if it was yesterday that I left her back and travelled with a heavy heart. Only that I feel sad when I look at the calendar that it has been really three years. At times I blame her, at times myself and at times the destiny. But I am happy that it happened. Exactly as we thought, as she suggested and as I disagreeingly agreed - when I look back I smile, with a hint of pain in my eyes that it happened. The pain of first love not living long, that pain will live with me ever. But I am happy that it happened. As she always says, 'tum paagal ho' (you are mad), I keep waiting for her, I keep looking for her in every girl I come across - I keep loving her.
She had a boyfriend - a long standing committment. On our first date she was clear in telling it to me. But cupid desired and we went into it. We tried to call it platonic, soul mates, fling - what not, but my dear we were in love. The love that every soul craves for. The love that I crave for, even after these may years and she cares for (does she crave for it too). It took a month before we met for a coffee and then we never parted.
Knowing that she was in committment I proclaimed my love. She accepted. She also, is proclaim too strong a word(?), accepted being in love. We let the whole world know of it. We flaunted it. We were proud of our love for each other, we were proud - proud for ourselves, proud for our companionship.
While I pleaded her to come out of her committment, while she kept declining - we chose to be together living every moment of our togetherness and three months passed and I had to move. And now three years. Life has moved along, heart still becomes heavy, eyes want to get moist - they are not permitted any longer - we reach each-other every other day and crave for that moment, that very moment which lasted 3 months. Today I dont have a name for it. I dont know whether I am sad or happy. I know one thing for sure - that moment can happen only with her - if at all it has to happen once again.
